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Don’t Call Me That

I-ASC Blog

Labels are great in the pantry. Is it a can of beans or strawberry jam? People are more complex than mulligatawny soup and must reject simple labels. I’m sure many readers will have heard of some of those disliked simple terms. My mom is a nonverbal Greek speaker, Dad is a low functioning singer, both of my sisters have high support needs when their cars break down, and our dog is severely incompetent at cooking. Fortunately, they aren’t judged on these merits alone, and forced to hear teachers, professionals and family explore their shortcomings repeatedly. Nonspeakers, unfortunately, are.

One label I reject is “unreliable speaker.” I have lots of speech, but would prefer Nonspeaking. Just look up unreliable in any dictionary-

from Oxford Languages:

Unreliable –adjective: not able to be relied upon.

“he’s lazy and unreliable”

 

Similar: undependable, untrustworthy, irresponsible, reckless, fickle,capricious, irregular, erratic, unpredictable, untrue, flighty, questionable, doubtful, dubious, suspect, unsound, weak, implausible, unconvincing, unsubstantiated, risky, defective, disreputable, inaccurate, vague, wrong, iffy, dicey
How many of those synonyms would you like attached to your name? Sketchy Sally, Irresponsible Isaiah, Fickle Frankie. Not the crowd I want to hang out with! Who would want an unreliable friend? 
 
It’s hard to be constantly reminded of the fact that my mouth is so out of control. I don’t mean to say “dirty diapers.” It’s not code for “I need the bathroom” or “Look, there’s a cute baby!” Most things I blurt out are completely random, just like my random flinging arm movements. Right now my troublemouth is repeating “polar bears” and ”flamingos”. It has nothing to do with the topic, and apparently it comes from some other part of my brain than what I mean to communicate.  
I can say some legit phrases, so I don’t mind getting called a minimally speaking person, as long as it’s in conjunction with other descriptors. I don’t know what words would be precise, yet inoffensive, for speaking nonspeakers like me. Readers, let’s hear your ideas.
 
Whatever labels you choose, for others or yourself, don’t let one word be the only thing you see. 

About the author

21 year old Sofia Ghassaei has been writing poetry all her life, you just couldn’t hear it before.  Her creative work has been published in the 2023 poetry anthology Di lo que quieres decir, Teen Creative magazine, Neuroclastic, and presented at the Boards and Chords Music Festival, Neurolyrical Cafe, and SpellX.  She was one of five writers internationally selected for the  Chicago-based 2022-23 Lynx Amplify Project, which pairs autistic poets with composers to set their words to music. Her first short play, Words Unheard, was performed by Theater of Possibility in 2022. Her second play, Love Letters, A True-ly Short Epistolary Romance, was performed by Theater of Possibility in 2023 and is now available on YouTube. She is a member of the Spellers and Allies Advocacy Network and loves biking in her spare time. 

Learn More

The mission of I-ASC is to advance communication access for nonspeaking individuals globally through training, education, advocacy, and research.  I-ASC supports all forms of augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) with a focus on methods of spelling and typing with the hope that other methods of AAC using spelling or typing will join our association. 

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4 Responses

  1. Hi Sofia! I appreciate your perspective, and it made my mom ask me because she was concerned that my opinion had changed and she was using hurtful language. Personally, I don’t mind being called an unreliable speaker. My words are certainly unreliable. I don’t identify as nonspeaking because I do speak, just not reliably. Anyway, I am not offended because it’s true. LOL
    Thanks for the thought-provoking post!

    Reply

  2. I support your viewpoint completely. I often hear speaking people say very erroneous things about me and I am very offended. I wish I could tell them how off-base their assumptions are. The key is to get more education out there about autism and motor apraxia. I appreciate you writing about it Sofi – Thanks, Austin

    Reply

  3. Hi Sofi! I really enjoy reading what you have to say. Unfortunately, minimally speaking or even nonspeaking doesn’t fit me. I talk A LOT! So, you could definitely call me a “big talker”, but unreliable is probably the best description. I don’t get offended as long as it is used solely in conjunction with my speech. I wouldn’t like it if it was applied to me in a general sense because I’m very reliable in many other ways.
    Sincerely,
    Hunter Oliver
    CRP: Jonica Chittum

    Reply

    1. Hi sofi, I used to be okay with the term unreliably speaking but not for myself I’m always nonspeaking 24/7 but I will definetly reevaluate my use of the term for other nonspeakers/minimal speakers who don’t like the term anymore and as a traditional nonspeaker i will always ask the autistic what language term they prefer

      Reply

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