Getting to Know Your Neurodiverse Community

We both identify as neurodivergent- Ian is happily autistic and Monica is passionately dyslexic.  We are both disability justice advocates and motivated to spread the good news that there isn’t anything wrong with us, we are simply representations of the beautiful neurodiversity that exists within our human population. We hope this conversation will help tell you that we really are not so different from anyone else.

Monica: What word would be most important for you to share with the ally advocates who will be watching this video? 

Ian: I think that I would like to talk about neurodiversity. 

Monica: How would you define neurodiversity for everyone? 

Ian: I would define neurodiversity as the idea that individual differences should be celebrated.

Monica: Why is it important for the ally advocates to understand this, Ian? 

Ian: I think that it is important to understand that individuals who are neurodiverse need to be seen as the same as you and me. I truly believe that you and I are the same but we communicate differently. 

Ian: Have you always been proudly neurodiverse?

Monica: I wasn’t always proudly neurodiverse, no. Most of my school years were spent knowing deep down that I learned differently than those around me but I was too busy putting all of my energy into keeping up and not letting anyone know that this was the case. At the same time my family, who has always embraced disability as something of value, countered the narrative I felt from school. 

I think hearing these messages as a child made it easier for me to adopt pride in being neurodiverse when I was officially diagnosed with dyslexia in university. Today, neurodiversity inspires me to think of creative strategies and solutions to my struggles. It also inspires me to think about my dyslexia-related strengths and to spotlight these for others who only see my deficits. Being proudly neurodiverse is something that I’m still working on but the more I surround myself with people who value diversity, the easier it is to be public and proud. 

Ian: It seems we all struggle with identity in one form or another. In the long run it all comes down to learning to love yourself. 

It has only been since I learned to use the letterboard that I truly felt like I was an accepted member of society. Having been isolated prior in school and in my community I never felt I would be in a situation that would allow for my inclusion. I am more able to adapt now that I have found my voice that is able to share as in this discussion.

Monica: Can you tell me about some of the ways that you show and share that you are proudly neurodiverse to the people around you?  

Monica: Being known is so important to all of us humans and I imagine you couldn’t feel known to others before communication was possible, especially with the social stigma and assumptions about apraxic individuals. 

Like you, I think the main way that I show I am proudly neurodiverse is by talking about how dyslexia is both a challenge and a strength in my life. 

Ian: I am only now finding my true voice. Hearing this, all people deserve a chance to be heard.

Ian: When making new friends do some or all need to be neurodiverse? 

Monica: It has been nourishing for me to have friends who are neurodiverse. I find they are able to empathize but also laugh and problem solve with me when I need it. I have some wonderful neurotypical friends too though. 

Ian: I have collected a lot of exceptional people in my life. They include neurodiverse and typicals. 

Monica: What are some common mistakes that people make when trying to support you?

Sometimes I sense that neurotypical friends or/and neurodiverse friends who are different from me get nervous about how to offer and support me. Do you ever feel this way? If so, what are some common mistakes that people make when trying to support you?

Ian: I may have had more experience with responding to how others see me and how I really am. I’m not so different than you. I need more support though especially because I don’t speak my words. It can be difficult for people to be patient as I spell my end of the conversation.

Monica: I think speaking people can struggle to wait for spelling to happen. This is something that I think I’m still working on. Do you have any advice for speakers who are just starting to learn to be patient while you spell?

Ian: It has the same reasoning as listening while somebody is talking without interrupting. It is hard to control one’s mouth, just as it is as hard for me to control my body. And I think it’s the polite thing to do to let others finish their thought.

Monica: I think the main mistake people make when wanting to support me is not asking questions. I like it when people ask me questions about my experience and what support looks like. It makes me know that they care and are interested in learning. 

Ian: Yes, it’s nice when someone wants to get to know the real you.

Ian: How are you coping in this not so pleasant time? Does your mind get stuck on where we might be going in our new normal?

Monica: I think that the pandemic is showing the interdependence and sensitivity of the environment and all of humanity. The concept of neurodiversity inspires and challenges me to accept that we are all interdependent, that it’s okay for me to ask for help and that it’s okay for me to need things that other people don’t need. I hope that this global pandemic inspires others to reflect on this too and be more in tune with each other and with our environment.

Ian: Excellent of you to find the silver lining in all of this, I am too. I’m just hoping it will continue for the good of our planet. I believe much good will take place.

Monica: June 18 is Neurodiversity Pride Day. What are some actions that our community could do to show and support neurodiversity pride? 

Ian: Get involved with your local government, go to city council meetings, make your words something to be proud of, and include your family in your advocacy efforts. 

Monica: Have a toast to neurodiversity and a conversation about what neurodiversity brings to your life- the challenges and also the joys and advantages. 

Monica: Do you want to share some concluding remarks?

Ian: I am a proud advocate for autistics and the LGBTQ communities. I wish more people understood that we are no different from them. Let’s show our support by making a short video representing these groups just hanging out and doing ordinary everyday things. It would cause a ripple effect to see us looking marvelously included. The fact that we are having fun together should open some hearts. 

Monica: I love the idea of normalizing just doing ordinary activities in our way. Normalizing our existence. 

This blog post was written as a collaboration between Ian Nordling (member of the I-ASC Nonspeaking Leadership Council and Spellers & Allies Advocacy Network) and Monica van Schaik (member of the I-ASC Leadership Cadre and coordinator of Spellers & Allies Advocacy Network).