Empowerment versus enabling…what’s the difference? Well, it’s difficult to talk about empowerment and enabling without first discussing autonomy and independence. Autonomy is defined as the quality or state of being self-governing. A person who is autonomous is acting according to their own preferences, interests, and/or abilities, free from undue external influence or interference. Independence, on the other hand, is defined as not requiring or relying on something else.
Are any of us truly independent of anything and everything around us? I know I’m not! While I love my job and would do it for free if I could, I need the paycheck. I need the support of my friends, family, and coworkers, and if my partner wasn’t cooking for me several days a week I would likely be starving! But I do have autonomy…I’m able to decide how I want to decorate my home, what I want to spend my free time doing, what car I drive, what doctors I see…the list goes on and on. Autonomy is what is truly important to me!
The Basic Psychological Needs Theory (BPNT), one of the mini-theories within the Self-Determination Theory, argues that optimal functioning and psychological well-being are predicated on three things, one of which is autonomy, and that autonomy is ESSENTIAL to wellness. As humans, we need autonomy for life satisfaction! So, the first question is, how can we help our students to be more autonomous?
For our spellers, we work hard on skills so that there are things that will allow them to be as independent as possible, but just like us, there are things that they may be unable to do without support. For one, they may always need someone there for communication and regulation support. But it’s important to recognize that even if total independence is not possible (which it rarely is, even for us as neurotypicals!) our students can have autonomy over their own lives. We are helping them build the skills to be able to spell to communicate so that once they have that reliable means of communication, they can share their thoughts, opinions, preferences, and they can make their own decisions and set their own goals. They can have AUTONOMY over their own lives!
With rigorous practice on the letterboard and lots and lots of purposeful motor practice, our students are able to build their independence, and dare I say, more importantly, their autonomy. But we want to EMPOWER our students to build up their own confidence in their skills, on and off the letterboard, in pursuit of their own personal goals. Empowerment is the ability to act of your own will, and to communicate that will to others, while receiving supports that meaningfully support and enhance that ability to act of your own will. We want to offer the support that allows them to reach their own goals, without directing those goals for them.
We can empower our students, but to do that we need to focus on support without overstepping. Without ENABLING them. Enabling is helping, and I’m certainly not saying that helping is a bad thing! But on this occasion when I’m talking about enabling, I’m talking about help that instead of solving a problem, perpetuates it. It’s me tying my daughter’s shoes for her instead of working with her to do it herself. It’s me keeping the bike trainer handle on her bike way too long, instead of letting her ride (maybe fall, but then get up again) and finally learn how to ride a bike at age seven. If you haven’t guessed it yet, I’m guilty of enabling myself, and I’m sure we all are at times! When I talk about enabling here I’m talking about doing TOO MUCH for someone. We ALL want to learn and have opportunities to learn. We need to give more time and more opportunities for our students (and for me, my daughter!) to be successful and more capable with their bodies.
In the world of S2C we talk often about those well-myelinated pathways in the brain. Enabling is sticking to those pathways, instead of empowering our students to develop new, independent and/or autonomous pathways. We often don’t recognize or give students the opportunity to do something. Sometimes it comes down to patience, because we can do it in less time. I’m guilty of this one as a mother too! Sometimes I’m impatient or I’m in a hurry, and letting my daughter do something herself is going to take longer. I have to remind myself to slow down, to support her to do it herself, and to LET her do it…not only because she CAN, but because that’s going to be empowering for her.
So what can we do to empower our students?
- Acknowledge that there are days where you WILL be more impatient, exhausted, or in a hurry, and those are days you will be more likely to step in. We are ALL guilty of this. It happens!
- Be aware of overstepping and give them the chance to try. Break down the steps and support the motor to make that sandwich, put on that t-shirt, fold their laundry…WHATEVER it is that they want to do, allowing them the time to do it.
- Encourage them to make decisions that affect them…even the little ones. We take these things for granted, but it is empowering to choose what you have for breakfast, what shirt you wear, what game to play, or what subject to learn about next. Give them a voice in what relates to them and their daily life. Those little things add up!
- Encourage your students to follow their interests! One of my favorite questions to ask at the end of a lesson, is “What has this brought up that you would like to learn more about?” Go there with them!
- Model! How you speak to and treat your students models that behaviour to others, and will hopefully influence how THEY speak to and treat them in return! When we model a “different” way of doing something, people often catch on!
- Recognize the moments you have when you can empower your student and take advantage of those moments! Extra time this morning? Instead of me putting on your coat let me prompt you through it. You can do it! Be mindful of opportunities to provide those empowering moments when it’s not stressful or difficult to manage.
- Remember what makes YOU feel empowered! If there’s something difficult, does it feel better to have someone do the task for you, or to take you through the steps and support you to do it successfully and independently on your own? Is it stepping OUT of your comfort zone, or sticking with those old, well-myelinated neural pathways?
- Encourage spellers to think and do for themselves. Everyone is allowed to disagree…so let them establish their personal viewpoints even if they are the only ones in the room who feel that way. We want them to feel empowered to be able to be confident to share their opinions!
- Be encouraging! Give emotional support and build up their confidence and resilience. Let them know that you KNOW they can do this, whatever “this” may be. Maybe you don’t get to step ten, but celebrate the fact that you got through step one!
- Remember that the letterboard is only one tool out of many that we can use to include, respect, and engage our students. Give them your attention and understanding. Talk out loud to them, say their name even if they are not directly part of a conversation because acknowledging that they are there can go a long way!
It’s in our nature to help others, ESPECIALLY those who we are closest to. We don’t enable others with the intent to do a disservice to them. But when we give our students a chance to do things FOR themselves, and support them in making their own decisions, and choosing their own goals, we allow them to have that autonomy over their own lives…and that is truly empowering!
Kelly Berg is an S2C Practitioner at Growing Kids Therapy Center and a member of the I-ASC Leadership Cadre living in Herndon, Virginia. She promises that by the time her daughter is eight, she will have learned how to successfully ride a bike by herself.
Sources:
Growing Kids Therapy Center Parent Cohort, Empowerment vs. Enabling Seminar (with thanks and acknowledgment to former contributors to the GKTC Parent Cohort – Janine Abalos, Bryana Williams, and Roxy Sewell)
